Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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