He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
