Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
