Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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