Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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