Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
