Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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