all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
