Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
