Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
