So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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