just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
