Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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