I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
