Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
My ATM looks so different sober.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
