we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
