Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
