I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
