I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize