Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
