Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
