You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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