he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
My dick has a subreddit
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
