I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize