I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
