I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
