i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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