Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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