She is in my trunk
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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