they need to just BURY HIM!
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
