how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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