I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Just high enough for therapy.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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