I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
