when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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