Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
