hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
