He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
