He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. ðŸ˜
This can only be settled by a dance off.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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