I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize