So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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