i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize