If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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