Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
