I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
