bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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