Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
