she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
