Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
