Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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