I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize