i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
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