Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Bring me that man meat
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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