Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
