I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
