she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
