I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
