do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
