loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
