If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize