You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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