Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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