Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
