come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
