those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
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