hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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