I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
