You're my little dorito
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
