i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
