Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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