Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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