so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
