Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
