Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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