Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I love you.
Bad choice
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
