I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
