idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
