Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
