So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
