wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I need to stop coming to work sober
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
